What does it mean to have a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ?
I’m new to this blog. I became a Christian at the age of 40 nearly 13 years ago. I want to introduce myself as a guy with more questions than answers. That’s not to say that I don’t know anything. I know more than some about a few things. But it’s not the answers I know that get me going. What excites me is searching for answers to the questions, doubts and insecurities that besiege me! And, I love it when surprised along the way by an unexpected answer to an important question I didn’t think to ask.
And, I have a question that has been bugging me. I’ll bet that you have had someone tell you that they have a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ and that you need to have one too. Well, here’s my question: What does that really mean? And, how does a personal relationship with Jesus Christ really work? How can we know if we have one too if no one tells us what is meant by this non-biblical terminology?
Before I go any further, I want you to know this is not a trick question. I have thoughts and ideas which rise in a few cases to the level of opinions. But I don’t have THE answer. I hope you will comment with your own thoughts, ideas, opinions and reactions.
As an experiment, find some Christians who profess a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and see if they can clearly articulate what that means and how it works for them. My bet is you will get answers; but they will be vague and imprecise. Mostly you may hear something like “I know that Jesus is a person and not just an idea or an historical figure.” This is of course true, but having a relationship with a person involves something more than knowing that they are a person. I think you will find that there seems to be general agreement that people need to have a “personal relationship” with Jesus; but most Christians are unable to articulate what that means and how it works.
To put it another way, when someone says they have a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ they probably mean less than they should; but in the same moment they are probably implying more than they should. That is I think it usually means less than it should to the one who says it while the thoughtful person who hears it reads more into it than they should. Overall, I think this expression does a very good job of creating confusion among unbelievers and of promoting uncertainty among believers. Hearing these words as an unbeliever I wondered if Jesus spoke audibly to Christians or if they saw Him in visions. What else could account for characterization of their relationship with Jesus as personal? And as a younger believer I experienced uncertainty because I wasn’t sure but that something more “personal” should be happening between me and Jesus Christ.
Let me illustrate what I think is intended when we say this with an example: Say Abraham Lincoln is your hero. If so, you would probably enjoy spending time reading all that Abe had written by way of books, letters, and diaries, etcetera. If this were a serious hobby, you might commit time to reading things written about him by his family, by his friends, and even by his enemies. You might take a trip to visit his childhood home and the town where he grew up. You might study the work of others who idolized Abe and spent lifetimes doing the same sorts of things you were now doing. You might even try to better understand the culture and times in which he lived to put his actions and life into a broader context. And, who knows what else you might do to learn more about your idol? If you really held Abe up to be your Number One hero you would want to become more like him. As you learned more and more about what Abraham Lincoln thought and believed and what motivated his decisions, you probably would begin to “personalize” it; finding yourself beginning to believe, think and make decisions in more the same way as Abe had, because he’s your hero and you want to be like him.
It’s in a similar way that our relationship with Jesus is “personalized”. Jesus must be our hero. And if He is, then it follows that we would enjoy and commit our free time to learning as much about Him as we can by every means possible. And as we come to a clearer understanding of who He is we will want to be more like our Number One hero, so we “personalize” our studies by becoming more like Jesus. We find ourselves believing, thinking and making decisions in more the same way as Jesus. In this way, we give the Jesus we increasingly come to know functional authority over our lives (that is, we make Him king of our Life, or we become slaves of Christ, etcetera). Just as Ephesians 6:10-18 says, we are to put on the full armor of God and take up the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God! So, I submit that immersion in God’s word is one of the real ways that having a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ works. And I would argue that if we do not have a thirst to learn about Jesus in every way we can, then we have reason to know that our relationship with Him is not as healthy as it should be. I would go so far as to argue that there is considerable reason to question the existence of a “personal relationship” where there is little time committed to the discipline of studying God’s Word.
What’s more, no matter how much we study Abraham Lincoln to become more like him; we could not possibly fairly characterize our relationship with him as personal. Abraham Lincoln is dead and waiting in a place where he may hear us, but where he can’t talk back. But Jesus Christ is different. The bible tells us that Jesus Christ died and was resurrected from the dead. It tells us that Jesus is alive and in a place where He can both hear us and talk back. And if we believe this, and if Jesus is our hero, we will spend time talking to Him and we will listen expectantly for Him to answer. Although from time to time, Jesus can and has appeared to some and spoken audibly to others this is the rarest of exceptions. So by faith we speak to Jesus spiritually through prayer and by faith we confidently await His invisible, non-audible answers. And so, I submit that this is another of the real ways that having a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ works. If we really believe that Jesus hears and answers we will apply our faith and commit our time to the discipline of prayer. Just as Luke 18:1 reminds, Jesus Himself taught that at all times we “ought to pray and not to lose heart.” Thus, I would argue that where there is little to no prayer there is more reason to question the existence of a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ.
And, finally, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ should presume the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Now when the Holy Spirit comes, we don’t just change a little bit. We are changed completely from the inside out. Paraphrasing Paul’s reminder at Romans 8:6, what could be more different than “the mind set on the flesh which is death” as compared to “the mind set on the Spirit which is life and peace”? As an older convert, I can look back at the inner person I alone know I used to be before the Holy Spirit indwelt me. And, the person I see is shockingly different from the inner man I am today. Because the change is in the heart, I cannot show it to you, but I know that it is there. So in this way, God Himself has given me assurance concerning my salvation because the changes wrought inside me by the Spirit are so very obvious. Certainly there are other ways in which God testifies to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and it would be an interesting topic to receive comments on. But, the point is that God gives each believer clear evidences of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. And so I submit that the believer’s confident testimony that they are indwelt by the Holy Spirit is another mark of a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ.
And so, this is my idea. That someone who claims to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ should consider:
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Whether they enjoy and spend enough time learning all they can about their Hero, Jesus Christ
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Whether they have given Jesus functional authority over their lives, doing what they know is right and not doing what they know they shouldn’t
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Whether they faithfully spend time in prayer
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Whether they really believe that Jesus answers prayers and wait confidently for His answers
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Whether they are convinced by the testimony of God that the Holy Spirit has come to dwell within them, so much so that that they boldly proclaim it
I think it would be much better if Christians told people: “Jesus is my hero. I plan to invest the rest of my life studying about Him to help me better appreciate who He was and to become more like Him. I absolutely believe that Jesus is alive so I talk to Him often in prayer knowing that He answers all my prayers, although mostly not when and how I expect. I know all of this, even though I can’t prove it to you, because Jesus has given me the gift of the Holy Spirit which now lives in me and God has proved that by changing me completely from the inside out.”
I admit this is long-winded compared to “I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ”. But I also believe it is likely to be a lot more powerful a message to an unbeliever and to a weaker brother.
Having made my case, it’s now time to hold myself up to the mirror of the words I have written. And being honest, there is more reason to question my “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ; then there is cause to confirm it. I must stop doing what I know Jesus would not! I must be more faithful in prayer! Forgive me Lord for my indifference; forgive me Lord for taking you for granted.
What about you? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? If so, what does that really mean to you and how is it working in your life?
I would be remiss if I did not close with a word to any who answer my question honestly, admitting; “I do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” It is my prayer that you wish you did, because you can. Are you aware of the oppressive and inescapable burden of sin in your life? Are you afraid because you know that God cannot let your guilt go unpunished! Do you know that you are hanging over the pits of hell by a mere thread (and God’s grace is the thread by which you are suspended). God has already pronounced you guilty. The wages of your sin is death, which means eternal separation from God. Are you are in a struggle: the Holy Spirit pulling while the devil refuses to let you go? Well, there is good news, brother!! God came in the person of Jesus Christ and took your punishment upon Himself. In this way, He is both the Righteous Judge and the Righteous One by whom all must be justified. You can pay for your own sins if you like, choosing eternal separation from God. But I pray you will humbly fall at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ and thank your Lord for what He has done for you.
If you want to read more, here’s the best article I found on the subject of having A Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ.
Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you–unless indeed you fail the test? But I trust that you will realize that we ourselves do not fail the test. (2 Corinthians 13:5-6)
The Cost of Following Christ
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9
I have seen this verse used many times as the magic formula for salvation. How many people have been told this is how they are to be saved? How many people have been falsely assured of their salvation with this verse? We have to understand that belief and profession mean absolutely nothing. The issues is faith. On the last day there will many who will confess to know Christ, saying, “Lord, Lord,” but they will spend an eternity in hell. As one man once put it, the question is not do you know Jesus, the question is, does Jesus know you. You believe Jesus died and rose again? To paraphrase the book of James, good for you, the devils also believe– and they tremble at what it means for them.
What does the verse mean then? The original historical context is essential. You see, we often forget that Paul was writing to Roman Christians– Christians who were being persecuted and killed for their faith, many times in an extremely cruel fashion. Paul was writing to assure these suffering believers that if, when faced with suffering and death, they were true to their Lord, they would without a doubt be saved. Paul, then, is talking about faithfulness unto death, a result and sure evidence of salvation, not a forumula for it.
Just this week, I read a vivid example of this very thing. I was glancing through a children’s textbook of Church history that I found on my bookshelf, and the first chapter dealt with the early church. It specifically addressed the sufferings they experienced, and recounted the martyrdoms of Ignatius of Antioch and Polycarp, two early church fathers. It demonstrates what Romans 10:9 meant in the lives of these two early Christians, and what the verse still means today.
“Ignatius (A.D. 67-110) was ordered by the emperor to be arrested and was sentenced to be thrown to the wild beasts in Rome. He longed for the honor of giving his life for his Savior, saying, “May the wild bests be eager to rush upon me. If they be unwilling, I will compel them. Come, crowds of wild beats; come, tearing and manglings, wracking of bones and hacking of limbs; come cruel tortures of the devil; only let me attain unto Christ.”
Polycarp was the last one of those who had been personally taught by the apostles. He was arrested and brought into the amphitheater in Smyrna, which was filled with an immense multitude. Since there were no images of gods in the house of worship of the Christians, the heathen rightly concluded that the Christians did not in believe in the existence of the gods, and so they accused them of being atheists. The proconsul reminded Polycarp of his great age, and urged him to show his penitence by joining in the cry, “Away with the atheists!” Polycarp looked straight at the excited crowd, pointed his finger at them, and cried, “Away with the atheists!”
Then the proconsul said, “Revile Christ and I will release you.” But Polycarp answered, “Eighty and six years have I served Him, and He has never done me wrong, how can I blaspheme Him, my King, who has saved me?” To the crowd the proconsul then proclaimed, “Polycarp has confessed himself to be a Christian.” The crowds yelled, “Let him be burned!”
Wood was collected and made into a pile. Polycarp asked not to be fastened to the stake. “Leave me thus,” he said, “He who strengthens me to endure the flames will also enable me to stand firm at the stake without being fastened with nails.” The woodpile was lighted. While Polycarp prayed with a loud voice, “Lord God Almighty, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, I praise Thee that Thou hast judged me worthy of this day and of this hour, to participate in the number of Thy witnesses, and in the cup of Thy Christ,” the flames consumed him. Polycarp’s martyr death took place in the year 156 A.D.” -From “The Church In History” by B.K. Kuiper
The Supremacy of Me…
Voddie Baucham at the 2006 Desiring God conference explains the question “if God is all powerful why does He allow suffering” with clarity and Biblical focus.
As the Wind Blows…
“The Spirit is compared to the wind, and, like the wind, He cannot be seen by our bodily eyes. But just as we know there is a wind by the effect it produces on waves, and trees, and smoke, so we may know the Spirit is in a man by the effects he produces in the man’s conduct. . . . We may depend on it as a positive certainty that where there is no holy living, there is no Holy Ghost.”
- J. C. Ryle
Holy Use…
“Now, dear reader, the children of God are sanctified people, sanctified to offer spiritual sacrifices to God through Jesus Christ, and we have no right to do anything but serve God. “What,” you say, “am I not to attend to my business?” Yes, and you are to serve God in your business. “Am I not to look after my family?” Assuredly, you are, and you are to serve God in looking after your family, but still you are to be set apart.
You are not to wear the white robe nor the breastplate (see Exodus 28:4), but still you are to think of yourself as being as much a priest as if the breastplate were on your breast, and the white robe about your loins; for you are “priests unto God and his Father” (Rev. 1:6). He has made you a peculiar generation and a royal priesthood (see 1 Peter 2:9), and He has set you apart for Himself (Ps. 4:3).”
- Charles Spurgeon, The Key to Holiness
HT: Symphony of Scripture
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